It's good that you recognize that there is a lot of things going wrong. I see several. I'm going to point them out and give you my suggestions, and hopefully, so videos that help you see how it's done correctly.
1. Run - 4 lefts is good for you to practice with at this point, 3 lefts is good too. What I see wrong is that your stride length is unbelievably long for a run that short. Your foot should land under your hips as you run tall up on the balls of your feet. You are reaching out with your foot, landing on your heal, and rolling/pulling your hips over your foot. Also, your run ends with you being in by about 2-feet at take-off. Without fixing anything else, if you started 2 feet further away (if you started at 50' move to 52'), you'd be in better position to takeoff. However, if you fix your over striding, you will need a new starting point. So you'll need to do a runback with your new running technique to determine your new starting point. Practice the run so that it is consistent.
2. Pole carry - you are starting out with your left hand too low, and the pole nearly horizontal the entire run. the tip should start out higher and fall during the run. This hurts the run because you have to lean back slightly to counteract the weight of the pole. You can run taller with a higher pole carry. Watch these videos:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rv13WyyucmEhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOoHRe8QCGs 3. Plant - you are starting it late, and with your hands too low. Watch these videos:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_b45GBLQZ8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noO3DQh8JUA then practice the walking 3-step plant motion in these videos 20-25 reps every day.
4. Take-off - you are way under, like 2-feet under. This is dangerous. You need to have someone check your take-off point every jump and make adjustments for your next jump. You and your teammates should get in the habit of doing it for each other. Also, practice your run so that you run consistently every time. Wind and adrenaline (like in a meet) will affect your run and you need to adjust for it.
5. In the air - you are pulling (yourself up the pole in an effort to get higher) - DON'T DO THAT!!! Pulling on the pole stops the rotation to vertical. For a vault to be successful, the pole needs to get to vertical. Do not pull. Read this article and watch the videos:
http://artofthevault.com/articles/pole- ... ry-school/Here's a good long/detailed video that breaks everything down:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhqEdocpfcMKeep working at it, the fact that you are asking for help tells us that you are determined. Determination is needed in this event. It is very technical, a lot of things need to be done well and at the right time. Broken down, they are all simple moves, but they have to be executed flawlessly, and everything depends on what preceded it. Focus on your flaws one at a time and fix them. It is best to fix them in order. Good luck, and work hard. It's a fun event.